And, yes, that was my shortest blog entry EVER!
No, wait, now this is.
Ode To Failure (excerpts) - Allen Ginsberg
10 hours ago
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Free Slings...? FREE SLINGS!!
Okay, I'll be honest and tell you that I'm posting this for selfish reasons (I get an extra entry into the drawing for posting the link here). Plus, I'm in the market for another "maya wrap" (type sling) since mine was absconded with by a teenager who I, now, cannot--oddly!!--get in touch with; I can use all the entries I can get!!
So go check it out:
Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)
I hope that works!
So go check it out:
Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)
I hope that works!
Monday, July 14, 2008
I Can See (a-little-bit-more) Clearly Now That The Rain Is Gone...
First, a HUGE thank you to the encouraging words I got from friends (and strangers!!). It means a lot to me that people took the time to read the posts AND (of course) to empathize! Wow, I really do have readers.
Well, as you can guess, my skies are a bit clearer (since last night). I'll explain:
Well, after I got those letters from Durham, I, naturally, forwarded them to the three professors who wrote recs for me. These three professors are also the people I find to be some of my biggest encouragement. I have heard back from two of the three (summer is time for prof travel, so...there is always delay).
This first response is short, but important:
I'm probably totally reading into this email, but I really feel that this is a "don't give up, we'll figure out some next steps" type letter. In fact, I would go as far as to say that this letter assumes that I'm not giving up but pushing forward (whether right or wrong, though probably right) and that this is good! This would have been a fine time to say, "Oh, man, wow...well, looks like you shouldn't do this". Well, I guess that could come up when we meet, but the "disappointment" leads me to believe that this prof def. thinks I should pursue.
Now, this next response is awesome. Some background: this prof was the first to respond to my emails. We dialogged through Thursday and Friday, looking for ways to proceed and to use Durhams "concerns" pro actively. In one email, this prof said that I should def. go ahead and get German and Hebrew under my belt to avoid further set-backs like this. Then he asked about what writing samples I had sent to Durham. Here is a part of that email,
" As to thinking independently - I'm wondering what material you sent to Durham for them to look at. Was it your thesis? Help me remember - was that mostly a survey of the relevant secondary works, or primarily a core sample of a text in the original language? Both are legitimate and useful. But it sounds to me as though Durham was looking for the latter, and perhaps you sent them examples of the former?"
To which I replied,
"Thank you so very much for this email. Just to answer your question about what I sent the to read: I sent them my exegesis paper on 1 Cor. 11:2-16 that I wrote for [NT] (I believe you read this) and a paper I wrote for [ST] on Barth's Doctrine of the Trinity. I didn't send my thesis, because I felt it too cumbersome as a "sample" of my writing. I've attached both, not that you have to read them, but as something to glance at to see what they saw. My thesis was definitely an examination of P.31:10-31 with a developed argument and supported with secondary material, not a survey. Actually, so are the 1 Cor. paper and the Trinity paper--both [the ST Prof.] and [the NT Prof.] are BIG on argument and defending that argument and don't hand out A's unless you've properly met that requirement. This is why I'm stumped. The only thing that comes to mind is something [that my thesis adviser] said to me when I was working on my thesis (precisely the p.31 section) and something [the ST Prof] said to me when I was working on the Barth portion: my quotes are too long and I don't put things into my own words enough (summary, mine). I do tend to rely heavily on other sources to support my argument and am really uncomfortable with just saying something without support. Isn't that good scholarship? I have an argument that I then support with secondary material. I'm wondering if my hyper-desire to support my argument has come across as un-original, non-independent thought."
Now, here is his response to reading the Exegetical paper (one of the two writing samples I sent):
" I just re-read your ICor11 paper for [NT prof] (I did see it before you sent it to Durham) and I liked it as well this time as I did the last. [NT Prof.] obviously can give you the expert assessment, but it seemed to me as though you dealt with the text in detail - a good core sample - with wide reference to the other secondary literature and with plenty of appropriate judgments of your own. Apart from a few typos and a few grammatical slips that could easily be corredted (but which according to [Durham] weren't the issue) I wouldn't know how to improve this paper - either in general or for the specific purpose of showing Durham your ability. So apart from the language issue - which is fair - I'm at a loss to know why [Durham] said what he did. I'd have thought that this paper would be perfectly appropriate to send to other admissions committees elsewhere. Though having been through all this, as I noted, it might be useful to do some networking before you apply again. [NT Prof] and [Thesis Adviser] and [ST Prof] ought to be able to put you in touch with people who have made successful applications elsewhere, and the latter might be able to guide you in shaping the samples of your work that you send.
That's my best shot...I'm still mystified."
Yeah, I know...FREAKING AWESOME! I put the really super awesome part in bold. In case you might miss it. This was water to a parched and arid soul, body, mind, and heart! What this email response gave me was my sanity. All Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, I wracked my head around why Durham said what they did. I spent hours thinking about my crappy papers and my lamb thesis. I wanted to burn them all, thinking they were huge hunks of junk. And then this. This little, "No, you aren't crazy, you did good work and your professors aren't lying to you and they aren't hacks...they know what they are talking about." I could breath deeply again. I could entertain the idea of doctoral work.
So, this is where I am now: hopeful, without a clear plan, and grateful for wonderful friends, family, and mentors/advisers! But you may wonder, after all this (although, it's still not over), how am I feeling led? Well, Daniel and I spoke about it last night (after getting this email and rejoicing), and this is what we thought might work in the future: I spend the next few years learning Hebrew and German and working on my Greek--"to improve it" and to keep it. Then, and this may take a few years, I'd look for an American program and stay in the states because, American programs are more comprehensive, harder, and THEY PAY YOU TO GO! So, all in all, I consider them better and may find that I have an easier time finding a job in the States after graduation because of the preparedness these programs offer you (no offense to my friends who are overseas). Right now, I'm still considering Wheaton which has a Two-year, full-time program. But, I'm not sold 100% and know that between now and then (the time I actually apply) some other program may spring up.
I don't have any problem saying this: if I'm going to take all of Durham's advice and employ it to better myself as an academic/potential doctoral candidate, I'm am probably not going to reapply to Durham. One of the reasons I applied to Durham was because I was told by many that I didn't have to know Hebrew and German and that I'd learn as I go (or in the first year), and because there are no classes--you just write your dissertation. So, if I do actually have to know those languages (which you do for the States' programs), I'm sorry Durham, but I'll stay right here, in my own country getting an awesome education.
**THBPT**
Well, as you can guess, my skies are a bit clearer (since last night). I'll explain:
Well, after I got those letters from Durham, I, naturally, forwarded them to the three professors who wrote recs for me. These three professors are also the people I find to be some of my biggest encouragement. I have heard back from two of the three (summer is time for prof travel, so...there is always delay).
This first response is short, but important:
I'm probably totally reading into this email, but I really feel that this is a "don't give up, we'll figure out some next steps" type letter. In fact, I would go as far as to say that this letter assumes that I'm not giving up but pushing forward (whether right or wrong, though probably right) and that this is good! This would have been a fine time to say, "Oh, man, wow...well, looks like you shouldn't do this". Well, I guess that could come up when we meet, but the "disappointment" leads me to believe that this prof def. thinks I should pursue.
Now, this next response is awesome. Some background: this prof was the first to respond to my emails. We dialogged through Thursday and Friday, looking for ways to proceed and to use Durhams "concerns" pro actively. In one email, this prof said that I should def. go ahead and get German and Hebrew under my belt to avoid further set-backs like this. Then he asked about what writing samples I had sent to Durham. Here is a part of that email,
" As to thinking independently - I'm wondering what material you sent to Durham for them to look at. Was it your thesis? Help me remember - was that mostly a survey of the relevant secondary works, or primarily a core sample of a text in the original language? Both are legitimate and useful. But it sounds to me as though Durham was looking for the latter, and perhaps you sent them examples of the former?"
To which I replied,
"Thank you so very much for this email. Just to answer your question about what I sent the to read: I sent them my exegesis paper on 1 Cor. 11:2-16 that I wrote for [NT] (I believe you read this) and a paper I wrote for [ST] on Barth's Doctrine of the Trinity. I didn't send my thesis, because I felt it too cumbersome as a "sample" of my writing. I've attached both, not that you have to read them, but as something to glance at to see what they saw. My thesis was definitely an examination of P.31:10-31 with a developed argument and supported with secondary material, not a survey. Actually, so are the 1 Cor. paper and the Trinity paper--both [the ST Prof.] and [the NT Prof.] are BIG on argument and defending that argument and don't hand out A's unless you've properly met that requirement. This is why I'm stumped. The only thing that comes to mind is something [that my thesis adviser] said to me when I was working on my thesis (precisely the p.31 section) and something [the ST Prof] said to me when I was working on the Barth portion: my quotes are too long and I don't put things into my own words enough (summary, mine). I do tend to rely heavily on other sources to support my argument and am really uncomfortable with just saying something without support. Isn't that good scholarship? I have an argument that I then support with secondary material. I'm wondering if my hyper-desire to support my argument has come across as un-original, non-independent thought."
Now, here is his response to reading the Exegetical paper (one of the two writing samples I sent):
" I just re-read your ICor11 paper for [NT prof] (I did see it before you sent it to Durham) and I liked it as well this time as I did the last. [NT Prof.] obviously can give you the expert assessment, but it seemed to me as though you dealt with the text in detail - a good core sample - with wide reference to the other secondary literature and with plenty of appropriate judgments of your own. Apart from a few typos and a few grammatical slips that could easily be corredted (but which according to [Durham] weren't the issue) I wouldn't know how to improve this paper - either in general or for the specific purpose of showing Durham your ability. So apart from the language issue - which is fair - I'm at a loss to know why [Durham] said what he did. I'd have thought that this paper would be perfectly appropriate to send to other admissions committees elsewhere. Though having been through all this, as I noted, it might be useful to do some networking before you apply again. [NT Prof] and [Thesis Adviser] and [ST Prof] ought to be able to put you in touch with people who have made successful applications elsewhere, and the latter might be able to guide you in shaping the samples of your work that you send.
That's my best shot...I'm still mystified."
Yeah, I know...FREAKING AWESOME! I put the really super awesome part in bold. In case you might miss it. This was water to a parched and arid soul, body, mind, and heart! What this email response gave me was my sanity. All Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, I wracked my head around why Durham said what they did. I spent hours thinking about my crappy papers and my lamb thesis. I wanted to burn them all, thinking they were huge hunks of junk. And then this. This little, "No, you aren't crazy, you did good work and your professors aren't lying to you and they aren't hacks...they know what they are talking about." I could breath deeply again. I could entertain the idea of doctoral work.
So, this is where I am now: hopeful, without a clear plan, and grateful for wonderful friends, family, and mentors/advisers! But you may wonder, after all this (although, it's still not over), how am I feeling led? Well, Daniel and I spoke about it last night (after getting this email and rejoicing), and this is what we thought might work in the future: I spend the next few years learning Hebrew and German and working on my Greek--"to improve it" and to keep it. Then, and this may take a few years, I'd look for an American program and stay in the states because, American programs are more comprehensive, harder, and THEY PAY YOU TO GO! So, all in all, I consider them better and may find that I have an easier time finding a job in the States after graduation because of the preparedness these programs offer you (no offense to my friends who are overseas). Right now, I'm still considering Wheaton which has a Two-year, full-time program. But, I'm not sold 100% and know that between now and then (the time I actually apply) some other program may spring up.
I don't have any problem saying this: if I'm going to take all of Durham's advice and employ it to better myself as an academic/potential doctoral candidate, I'm am probably not going to reapply to Durham. One of the reasons I applied to Durham was because I was told by many that I didn't have to know Hebrew and German and that I'd learn as I go (or in the first year), and because there are no classes--you just write your dissertation. So, if I do actually have to know those languages (which you do for the States' programs), I'm sorry Durham, but I'll stay right here, in my own country getting an awesome education.
**THBPT**
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